Perception: The Different Between a Millimeter and a Mile

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend of mine, talking about what we had been experiencing the last couple of years.  Now in full disclosure, when I know there is a possibility of these discussions, I usually show up with Diet Coke and party sandwiches ready for the slumber party!  But I digress...

I was telling her how over the last few years I have really embraced the concept of vulnerability.  I was explaining all of the discoveries and terrible heartaches this concept had made available to me.  How although it is a painful road, I have relished in this journey. 

She looked at me and said simply; vulnerability is a sign of weakness.  I was stunned by this comment as I was feeling particularly strong for facing vulnerability.  So I had the thought, is vulnerability weakness?  I had to admit to myself, that of course; I had always thought of it as a weakness, as I had taken this on as my own personal mantra. 

This mantra had been the most telling voice in my head, which drove me.  I would in no way, EVER, show others that I was weak or vulnerable.  I was capable, fearless, and impenetrable.  Never letting you see me bleed.  But oh how over the last few years I was bleeding.  It seems as if I open the flood gates and all of this came running out.  I would bleed on you if you were in shouting distance.  “Over here!  I am bleeding!” 

During this time, I could really see the paradox in these feelings.  The more I bled, the stronger I felt.  The more I was told I was weak, the more I saw the strength within me growing.  I was facing a core fear in myself.  The fear that if I needed you and asked you for assistance, you wouldn't love me.  And if I needed your help, I wasn't uh me; thus unlovable. 

In the past I would have taken her comments and reacted, VERY STRONGLY.  Aggressively pushing those words and her back, until she admitted defeat.  But by embracing the very strong, silent side of vulnerability I realized that I was stronger than I ever had been.  By facing a core fear and walking to it and through it, I found the me I knew I was.  Not the fearful me afraid of you, but the one that can embrace the “us” together. 

Truly the paradox of life.  How grateful I am. 

Weakness =strength

Me = us

Us = all that is and ever could be

In that understanding I am able to see that it is our perspectives (millimeters) that put the distance of miles between us.  I stand open hearted to my vulnerability to you, welcoming you to meet me here. 

Namaste