The Dream of Drowning

I awoke early this morning, again; in a pool of… I struggle to consciousness from an apparent deep sleep.  Where was I? What was I doing again?  I notice that I am covered with sweat.  Ah, it must have been a dream. Or was it?  

As I begin to pull myself from my slumber, I remember I was in a vast pool of water, drowning.  Or was I simply struggling to breathe?  I allow that thought to wonder through my brain, breathing under water?  Could that be possible?  

Then my then fully conscious mind moves to from the dream to the symbolism this dream represents in my “awaken” life.  When do I think or feel as if  I am underwater?  How do I feel or react when I believe this to be true? Do I struggle to get out? Do fight with everything I have to get back to dry land? (a place of seeming in control and safety?)   Literally underwater or feeling like I am underwater…  Where are the differences?  Are they any, differences, really?  Don't I react, think or feel in the same way?

So as the gentle light of the sunrise moves me from darkness to light, I begin to understand.  Perhaps all I need are different eyes to see and gills to breathe.  Realizing that being underwater and on land can be the exact same thing, if I were equipped with gills. 

So in the gentle light of day, I discover that I have both gills and lungs, everything that I need to live in either place, land or sea.  With that knowledge, I completely understand when I find myself in situations that feel as if I am drowning, I know I have all that I need to be OK.  And the first step to relax and breathe.  From there it is easy, for I am home.