THE PACK

How can an inanimate object take over one's life? THE PACK has taken over my room – stuff everywhere. It has become to me evil incarnate. It speaks to me during the day – (you have more room) and then again at night (are you nuts you can't carry all of that stuff). I have been obsessing about this pack for a month. When everything weighs something – what do you really, really, really need to bring? I never really thought of myself as particularly materialistic, but when it comes to 17-19 pound of items (including pack and water) the choices become very limited. Do I really need eye cream? What about body lotion? I have my basics down pat- clothing minimal, sleeping bag, crocks, journal, and guidebook. So it's the damn toilet articles. They seem to really weight the most and for some reason the hardest to part with. I don't mind to smell (well ok smell-ish) and my hair is way way short so easy there. How can I do without my lotions and potions?? I have packed, stood on the scale. Unpacked, stood on the scale. Unpacked more stood on the scale. Why do I get heavier as I take things out? Crap! With the packing now at a fevered pace, I am still unsure what I will bring and leave behind. Wait THE PACK is calling me… gotta run

Thoughts on Camino de Santiago

Questions

Note: if you see yourself in any of these questions, please understand you are not the only ones that have asked them. As I make my way through my family and friends telling them about my Camino, I get asked many very interesting questions. Now most of the time these questions are coming from people who (a) don't go outside; (B) don't walk around the block (c) apparently don't realize that Spain is bigger than they thought. The most prevalent was: Do you have good shoes? My immediate first thought is shoes? I need shoes? Really thanks for thinking about that for me. Usually after I answer about the shoes, they ask "Are they broken in real well?" Again I think you mean I should actually put them on my feet BEFORE I leave? Who knew?? The next most popular question is: "500 miles, how far is that?" I usually answer 500 miles. They respond not but really how far is that? And again I say 500 miles. Then the last question: "Is Spain 500 miles across?" My response is usually: "no we just walk all the way across until we hit the ocean and keep going until we get to 500 miles. Then without fail comes: "Well if you keep walking what country is on the other side of Spain? I respond USA. The looks from that answer usually stop the questions. So thanks to all of my family and friends!

Be Careful What You Wish For

In the beginning of the year when I first started to think about the Camino, I recognized that it was a symbol of my life. Before the walk was my life as a child, young woman, woman. After the walk woman, older woman, old woman. So I knew that as much as I was to walk toward something I was walking away from something too. I was to walk away from my life as I have known it since birth. All of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs that were no longer useful for me. Well so I thought. Those things would have been very easy for me since they exist inside of me. But the Camino is a tough taskmaster. She was to ask me to give up everything. Everything that tied me to my past. So I have moved my mother to Dallas, sold the family home, left a 17 year relationship, 3 cats and 2 dogs, my home and all of my sources income. It seems like every time I think well this has to be it – it isn't. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning (got my Camino haircut- could it be any shorter?) and I can't even recognize who I am. My hair (what's left of it) is turning gray, my face just looks – well- older. And so I continue to path to walking. My only hope and prayer at this point is that the walk itself is easier than the walk to prepare for the walk.

And so it begins

I have heard from many that the Camino calls to those that need to walk. For me the first time heard about the Camino was 20 years ago. I thought- that sounds like an adventure I would love. Well I leave in 6 days to walk. This is my mid-life crisis. In 3 years I will be 50, not that there is anything wrong with 50, but 50 none the less. I recognized that in many ways I had turned conventional and for someone who is never conventional, conventional was scary. So now I walk.